Author: Lissa Eggleston

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Is change really possible?

 potter Yesterday, I launched a 12 week fall Bible study at my church.  About 20 women gathered and there was much excitement as we opened chapter 1 and began to unearth the gems contained there.  I am glad to be studying with these women and eager to consider the essential role of the Holy Spirit in spreading the good news about Jesus. Luke is so precise–such a researcher–and committed historian.  He records the events that allow us to observe people  being changed from the inside out!  When thinking about that change I remembered these thoughtful words:

“Is it really possible to change?…The word “really” is the issue.  In many people’s minds, change must be nearly complete–at least dramatic–or it doesn’t count…If efforts to restore a drab marriage lead only to a flicker of warmth, then perhaps it hasn’t really changed…Evangelicals sometimes expect too much or, to put it more precisely, we look for a kind of change that God hasn’t promised…We manage to interpret biblical teaching to support our longing for perfection. 

As a result, we measure our progress by standards we will never meet until heaven…We therefore claim God’s power as the guarantee of total change from pressure to peace, from disappointment to joy–and then live with an intolerable burden that either crushes us with despair or requires us to pretend we are better than we are.  The idea that peace and joy might merely support us during times of struggle and sorrow rather than eliminate those times is not appealing. 

 We want to do away with the necessary pain of living in a disappointing world as imperfect people. We insist on experiencing neither pain nor failure, so when the inevitable happens, it becomes reason for discouragement. But there are unnecessary problems that develop when we insist that necessary pain be eliminated…If we were convinced that the trauma of learning to trust God would really change us, we might be willing to endure it.  But real change is available now; it’s just not the kind of change we want. We insist that the real change that heaven will bring (an end to all pain) be ours today.  That insistence is the problem that we must overcome if real change that’s possible now is to occur.” ((Larry Crabb, Inside Out, NavPress, 1988, 203-205))

O Father, you are the Potter; I am the clay–it has never occurred to me before that my desire to change–my hopes for moral renovation might be rushing your timetable–or that it springs from a root of pride that wants to look better in other’s eyes right now!  I sense, that through Acts you will teach me to want the change you want to do in me!  What an adventure it is to live under the molding influence of your Spirit.  Amen

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Dance Fever

March 7, 2004

Hey Lady,

PasGerMikNCBC (Small) It is the end of the day Sunday and I am trying to get this typed before the generator is cut off at 10:00.  The electricity has been off all around Kampala for most of the day.  We picked two visiting mini-missionaries from Entebbe this morning.   They were not completely exhausted so they agreed to go to church with us. We took them to the church we go to in the city called New City Church.  Pastor Gerald is a fabulous preacher. We are very blessed to have this partner church to attend.  His congregation seems to be mostly young Ugandan college aged folks.    IMG_0080 (Small)

Since we have found out that Sophie’s blood test was clear we have been anxious to go and pick her up. We were told to come pick her up Monday. The magistrate approved her placement with P1010007 (Small)us but Sanyu’s Director has suddenly refused to let her go. When Carolyn called to make an appointment to get her, Joyce said, “You come for her in a month, she is not ready to be released yet.”  We are both in deep confusion, Carolyn pressed a little and emphasized how well the children do here when they begin to balance the diet over 3 meals a day.  The Director could not be budged.  So, with heavy hearts, we wait.

spiritofuganda.jpg Yesterday, Carolyn and I went to Entebbe to the grand opening of the SOS Children’s Village there.  They have 12 cottages built and President Yoweri Museveni was coming to speak and cut the ribbon on one of the cottages.  He was to be there at 2:30 but actually arrived at 4:15.  We did not mind the wait, we sat in plastic lawn chairs under a big canopy tent drinking sodas and watching different groups entertain; it was no hardship to wait.  My favorites were the dance troupes doing native dance. To be in such an entertaining, relaxing environment was a great gift.  49709999._MG_8786

The dearest part of the day was when a group of 12 little seven to eleven year old girls from the war torn Northern area of Gulu danced.   These are little girls who watched their parents be tortured and killed, they are children who wandered aimlessly and Uganda_067were left to fend for themselves until an SOS center was set up to house and care for them.  SOS is a humanitarian organization and I am so grateful for their work.  They are able to tap into big corporate money gifts, mostly from Europe, to help the needy orphans here and all over the world.

Tonight, as I type, there are the familiar all night drums playing again.  49709991._MG_8652  We wonder when Ugandans sleep–they seem to stay up all day and all night.  Pray for us here, there is much community discontent since we had to lay off so many construction workers.  The buildings that were funded to this point have been completed and that means men have no work here. This is hard on everyone as we live among people whose stability has been disrupted by this work completion.  The necessary lay off has left the community outside our gate feeling betrayed and disgruntled.  Girl the lights are going to go so I better too.  00000196-photo

Until later–I love you–lissa

P.S.  Jane, I am asking God to continue to help me be one who can receive help without feeling like a slacker. God uses you to help me release pockets of destructive independency.  Thank you.

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Veggie Tales

March 25, 2004

Hello Friend,

Today we had a very cold start to the day.  All the children came to the dining hall with their sweaters pulled up around their ears. The mamas say once you have malaria you feel the cold more than others do.  After breakfast got started,  I assisted Carolyn by going to the front gate to buy vegetables for the Children’s Center.   GateVeg1 (Small)This was a first for me and I learned much!   Most of the time I am tied up with work at the village, so Mike has become our family shopper.  He knows the prices of everything and I certainly have not learned that to this point. 

Today was my day to begin to learn.  Once a week, about 11 women pick their produce and then gather at the entrance to the gate hoping to sell what they have grown.   They bring sweet potato, eggplant, greens, tomato, papaya, banana, pumpkin, fresh beans, zucchini, avocado and Ntuli — which is a bitter little thing that looks like a tiny green tomato.  I did learn that bargaining is quite fun. As they name their price, they start at about twice what the going rate for the vegetable is.  DSC01746 (Small)I am supposed to look shocked at this first price and say, “Ah, my goodness!  Why so high?”   They furrow their brows and shake their heads sadly, describing how dry it has been and how that makes each item more rare and precious. Their explanations are suppose to make me willing to pay the expensive price.   I counter with the argument that we are buying for many abana (children) and that we cannot afford to pay such high prices when we buy so much. With smiles they suggest another price for me to consider.  The cooks have directed me what the pantry needs are, so I move from person to person wanting to buy something from each.  It feels like such a ministry to the community to have this impromptu market at the gate.  We go back and forth and settle on a price that brings out the smiles. DSC01745 (Small)Today, I spent about $7.50 and had the whole back of the Prado stuffed full. Jane, there is one lady who lives across the road from Rafiki who is suffering from HIV.  She is the most stunningly gorgeous woman that I have ever seen — she has exotic features and such a wining smile.  This rare beauty has also been left in a desperate circumstance.  DCP_0258 (Small)Like so many women here, she was used as a “wife” by an older man in the government and then abandoned. 

When I asked the aunties about this man they said, “JjaJa that man is not well behaved.”  That turn of phrase is used for anyone who lacks integrity or honor.   I would guess that this man was the one who infected her before casting her off to fend for herself.  Unfortunately, she now has children to care for — a very young child and an older toddler.  DCP_0257 (Small)Whenever we meet she is anxious to talk about her faith and her hope. 

She is very bright and resourceful.  In our conversations, she discovered that we mzungus missed having good lettuce,  so she planted this lovely, tender, Boston-like lettuce at her place and she comes to sell it each week.  I buy more lettuce than I can ever eat just so she can have shillings to feed her family.  There is also a very enterprising Muslim woman who comes to the market and she too grows gorgeous produce.  She seems surprised that we Christians are open to buying from her and each time she listens carefully to what we need and the following week those items are there in abundance.  She is prospering for sure.  It was a good time. 

In Great Grace–lissa

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Snakes on a Porch!

Sunday, March 28, 2004

EatingIceCream (Custom)I took cottage #2 to church this morning and then made some cookies and cleaned the house.  It is Mike’s birthday and we decided to celebrate by having the children come for a visit.   We thought it would be fun to let them try ice cream for the first time.  The ice cream here is somewhere between ice milk and Italian ice–not very creamy but it replicates the delight pretty well.   Chloe seemed to enjoy the treat but the others were not all that impressed.  MikesBday1 (WinCE)They found the sensation of cold too intense and they were not fond of the sweetness either!  One man’s treasure is surely another man’s trash!  It was fun seeing them all dressed up and ready for a party.  Earlier in the day, Mike went with the Enis’ into Kampala to go to New City Bible Church.  He had just changed clothes when one of the aunties came frantically knocking at the door.   She was very agitated because she had seen a snake under the plants that surround Mama Teopista’s cottage.   Mike wasted no time and followed her back to the site.  I didn’t think much about it–in fact I thought the snake would be long gone before anyone could hunt it.  Imagine my surprise when Mike came back with a dead green mamba! green mamba He and Mike Enis tried several scary maneuvers to kill this menace–it was after it was dead that I found out it was a green mamba–it is a very poisonous snake here in Uganda.  I should have known that the auntie would not have been that upset for the safety of the children unless there was real danger.  Thank goodness they were successful and the snake was not!  Having the children over for a party just added more excitement to this already exciting birthday.

much love,

lissa

Mike with the green mambaP.S. This day reminded me of the Acts 28 story,  “As Paul gathered an armful of sticks and was laying them on the fire, a poisonous snake, driven out by the heat, fastened itself onto his hand. The people of the island saw it hanging there and said to each other, “A murderer, no doubt! Though he escaped the sea, justice will not permit him to live.”  But Paul shook off the snake into the fire and was unharmed. The people waited for him to swell up or suddenly drop dead. But when they had waited a long time and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds and decided he was a god.”

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How Firm a Foundation?

 Larry Crabb continues to be an author that helps me see underneath and behind some of my doubting thoughts.  In his book Finding God he asked his readers:

“Imagine what it would be like to say the following words from Habakkuk and mean them! (I’ve added a few phrases in italic to bring the passage home.)

Though the fig tree does not bud

and I am alone;

and there are no grapes on the vines,

and I can find no joy in my world right now;

though the olive crop fails

and I have nothing to soothe my open wounds;

and the fields produce no food,

and I am out of a job or hate the one I have;

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no one warms me on cold nights

and no cattle in the stalls

and I have no tangible basis for feeling secure,

yet will I rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

(Hab. 3:17-19)

S705252-Can_you_see_the_jaguar_in_the_picture-Cuscohifting our foundation from doubt to confidence, from terror to enjoyment, from rage to worship will occur only when something stirs within us that makes us long, more than anything else, to build our lives on the reality of God.  But we’re not there yet.  No one is, not fully.  With doubt, terror, and rage filling our hearts, we turn to others, not to love them, but to get from them at least a little of what we need.  Bent on relief from our pain and revenge against God, we enter into relationships with the desperate cry that seems so reasonable: “I need you!”  And that cry moves us into the first floor of the fallen structure…When we live to get from others (and everyone does who suspects that God isn’t good), the results are always the same: inevitable disappointment, temporary fulfillment, and bitter loneliness.  When we doubt God and turn away from him to cry to others, “I need you,” we never stop crying.” ((Larry Crabb, Finding God, Zondervan 1993, 108-109.))

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You are free!

When we Americans think of “being free”, we usually mean throwing off all constraints.  If we tried to picture what freedom feels like it would be:

  • like your caged pet acts when you finally get home from work and let the gate open!
  • like your toddler acts when you are trying to change their diaper and they manage to wriggle free!
  • like the relief of coming home after a 10 hour work day and pulling off your panty hose!
  • like a student feels when the last school bell of the day rings.
  • like you and your college buddies 4-wheeling over previously undiscovered muddy trails

What does the Bible mean when it speaks of freedom?

  • “When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness.” Romans 6:20
  • “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”  John 8:36
  • “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”  Galatians 5:1
  • “Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.” 1 Peter 2:16
  • “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.”  1 Corinthians 8:9
  • “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”  2 Corinthians 3:17

“Biblical freedom is never spiritual anarchy or a new ability to enjoy forbidden things.  We’re released from bondage to sin and death and the law, and we’re liberated for obedience in the Spirit — from a lower bondage, for a higher one.  That’s why freedom in Christ leads directly in Scripture to truly loving others.  We’re free from grim, duty–driven spirituality…free from the tyranny of needing others’ approval…free from the darkness of guilt that blankets our souls…free from the quicksand of sin’s power…Our freedom to truly love highlights what I like to call the difference between adolescent freedom and mature freedom.

  • Adolescent freedom asks only, What am I free from?

Mature freedom asks also, What am I free for?

  • Adolescent freedom asks only, Is it forbidden?

Mature freedom asks also, Is it helpful?

  • Adolescent freedom embraces the liberty “to do my own thing.”

Mature freedom embraces the liberty “to do Christ’s thing.”

  • Adolescent freedom often confuses legalism with obedience

Mature freedom knows not only the exhilaration of being free from the wrong master,

 but also the greater exhilaration of being enslaved to the right Master.” 

Dwight Edwards, Revolution Within, WaterBrook Press, 2oo2, 162-3.

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We forget…He does not.

March 25, 2004

Dear Jane,

Psalm 78 reminds us that we are consistent in our forgetfulness of the great works of our God–but he remembers His covenant forever.  That is good good news!

Mike downtown (Small) Casey is off from school today and so after the meeting to train mamas, we are going into Kampala to get haircuts. This is one of those times that brings such remembered pleasure to our days.  Mike has headed to Entebbe to pick up some mini missionaries who are making a second visit to Uganda.  We have had 3 flat tires in the past couple of weeks so I am praying that the patched tires will hold up for the journey.  Yesterday was full and busy.  We had a second interview with a woman that we hoped would be a mama in training. Effective interviewing is so difficult–the women are so desperate for the position that they will often tell us whatever they think we want to hear.  I don’t blame them.  MatatuMeetsCustomer (Small)This dear woman revealed under closer questioning that she is a single woman with an 8 year old child who is living here with her child instead of the child being in Kumi with her mother as she had told us on the first interview.  I praised God for her honesty and was thankful that we did not offer her a job that would make an orphan of her own child!

We also went to Nsambya Babies Home and saw 2 children that we hope can come live here in cottage #4. Over the past week, I’ve spent several hours with our new housemother Robinah Nafuna.   She is a treasure with depth of knowledge, both of people and of faith. She made me laugh so hard when she shared a story with me.  I had invited her to my home for a follow up interview.  Robinah&William (Custom) She got there around the lunch hour and since I knew that her journey on the matatu had been long and hard, I offered her a bowl of bean soup and some tea or water.  She asked for water probably so that she would not cause me extra preparation time.  I felt her eyes watching me quietly as I prepared her meal.  I noticed that she did not drink the glass of water and just assumed that like many Ugandans that drinking water was not her habit.  These folks have to walk long distances to streams and carry the water they need in large plastic “gerry” cans.  Since the water comes with contamination, they must boil all water for drinking and cooking.  I think as a result, they must think of drinking water as a costly extravagance.  DSC00223 (Small) Well, I had drawn her water right from the faucet, and when she saw that I did not “cook” it she was convinced I was a misguided mzungu trying to make her ill!  As she shared what she was thinking about me and these crazy foreigners in the village, I rolled with laughter.  What she did not know then and what will be a great treat for her as she lives here, is that here in the village we have a deep bore well.  The water comes up uncontaminated and immediately suitable for drinking!

Sophie I don’t know if I have shared that we heard that baby Sophie, who we are waiting to bring to Rafiki, was recently hospitalized.  We are not sure what is going on but we did stop by Sanyu while in town to check on things with her.  Joyce met us and took us into the lunch room where the children sit in those little chairs around the edge of the wall to drink their porridge. We saw Sophie but she looked so much smaller and weak.  As Carolyn talked with Joyce, I noticed a sign above her high chair that said “TB use own spoon and cup only!”  Things began to make sense about why Joyce had not released Sophie to us.  We had heard through the grapevine that there has been an outbreak of TB at Sanyu and we had been wondering if any of our children are infected.  They all had passed the TB serology tests but evidently they discovered through chest X-rays that some Sanyu children had the disease.  This throws many things up in the air for us–Carolyn is e-mailing the Rafiki pediatrician in Nairobi to see what we should do now. Well girlfriend, I need to move away from the laptop and get my mind ready for the mamas to come for training today.

gratefully yours,

lissa

P.S. Dr. Dan in Nairobi told us to bring Sophie as soon as possible so that we can get her treated for the disease. The treatment can take up to a year.  He told us not to panic about the other children that he would test them all when he visits in April or May and not to worry about it.   That was very encouraging.