Category: Out of Africa

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How’s your self-esteem?

“Too many Christians never see that self-love comes out of a culture that prizes the individual over the community and then reads that basic principle into the pages of Scripture. The Bible, however, rightly understood, asks the question, “Why are you so concerned about yourself?” Furthermore, it indicates that our culture’s proposed cure–increased self-love–is actually the disease…Need theories can thrive only in a context where the emphasis is on the individual rather than the community and where consumption is a way of life. If you ask most Asians and Africans about their psychological needs they will not even understand the question!” ((Edward Welch, When People are Big and God is Small, P & R Publishing, 81 and 87))

DSC02777 (Small) As I read this quote, I remembered the days of interviewing African women who were seeking a job as housemothers for 10 previously orphaned children. Trying to get to know them as quickly as possible I would naively say, “Why don’t you describe yourself and your hopes and dreams for me.” The women would stare at me with a confused look and say, “JjaJa, I don’t understand the question.” It was not a language difficulty–it was that they never spent a moment of their lives pondering such a self absorbed question! It never occurred to women who are daily consumed with thoughts of “How will I make it today?” to think about themselves or ponder an uncertain future. They live in a culture that prizes the good of the community and care almost none for the aspirations of the individual as we do. People with little, and certainly not familiar with a consumer culture but with a pervasive joy and contentment. Are we missing something by having so many somethings?

I remember one time going to church with Auntie Edith and asking, “Edith what is his name?” She said, “JjaJa, you mzungus care very much about names–here we greet people by saying, “Hello Ssebo” (Sir) or “How are you Nnyabo” (Madam), we don’t ask for names!” Again, she was helping me see that her world view was not individualistic –she was not living in a culture that could afford to pursue the esteem of self. As Welch has suggested, what if the cure we seek–a better self-esteem–is the disease from which we need to be delivered?

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Dance Fever

March 7, 2004

Hey Lady,

PasGerMikNCBC (Small) It is the end of the day Sunday and I am trying to get this typed before the generator is cut off at 10:00.  The electricity has been off all around Kampala for most of the day.  We picked two visiting mini-missionaries from Entebbe this morning.   They were not completely exhausted so they agreed to go to church with us. We took them to the church we go to in the city called New City Church.  Pastor Gerald is a fabulous preacher. We are very blessed to have this partner church to attend.  His congregation seems to be mostly young Ugandan college aged folks.    IMG_0080 (Small)

Since we have found out that Sophie’s blood test was clear we have been anxious to go and pick her up. We were told to come pick her up Monday. The magistrate approved her placement with P1010007 (Small)us but Sanyu’s Director has suddenly refused to let her go. When Carolyn called to make an appointment to get her, Joyce said, “You come for her in a month, she is not ready to be released yet.”  We are both in deep confusion, Carolyn pressed a little and emphasized how well the children do here when they begin to balance the diet over 3 meals a day.  The Director could not be budged.  So, with heavy hearts, we wait.

spiritofuganda.jpg Yesterday, Carolyn and I went to Entebbe to the grand opening of the SOS Children’s Village there.  They have 12 cottages built and President Yoweri Museveni was coming to speak and cut the ribbon on one of the cottages.  He was to be there at 2:30 but actually arrived at 4:15.  We did not mind the wait, we sat in plastic lawn chairs under a big canopy tent drinking sodas and watching different groups entertain; it was no hardship to wait.  My favorites were the dance troupes doing native dance. To be in such an entertaining, relaxing environment was a great gift.  49709999._MG_8786

The dearest part of the day was when a group of 12 little seven to eleven year old girls from the war torn Northern area of Gulu danced.   These are little girls who watched their parents be tortured and killed, they are children who wandered aimlessly and Uganda_067were left to fend for themselves until an SOS center was set up to house and care for them.  SOS is a humanitarian organization and I am so grateful for their work.  They are able to tap into big corporate money gifts, mostly from Europe, to help the needy orphans here and all over the world.

Tonight, as I type, there are the familiar all night drums playing again.  49709991._MG_8652  We wonder when Ugandans sleep–they seem to stay up all day and all night.  Pray for us here, there is much community discontent since we had to lay off so many construction workers.  The buildings that were funded to this point have been completed and that means men have no work here. This is hard on everyone as we live among people whose stability has been disrupted by this work completion.  The necessary lay off has left the community outside our gate feeling betrayed and disgruntled.  Girl the lights are going to go so I better too.  00000196-photo

Until later–I love you–lissa

P.S.  Jane, I am asking God to continue to help me be one who can receive help without feeling like a slacker. God uses you to help me release pockets of destructive independency.  Thank you.

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Veggie Tales

March 25, 2004

Hello Friend,

Today we had a very cold start to the day.  All the children came to the dining hall with their sweaters pulled up around their ears. The mamas say once you have malaria you feel the cold more than others do.  After breakfast got started,  I assisted Carolyn by going to the front gate to buy vegetables for the Children’s Center.   GateVeg1 (Small)This was a first for me and I learned much!   Most of the time I am tied up with work at the village, so Mike has become our family shopper.  He knows the prices of everything and I certainly have not learned that to this point. 

Today was my day to begin to learn.  Once a week, about 11 women pick their produce and then gather at the entrance to the gate hoping to sell what they have grown.   They bring sweet potato, eggplant, greens, tomato, papaya, banana, pumpkin, fresh beans, zucchini, avocado and Ntuli — which is a bitter little thing that looks like a tiny green tomato.  I did learn that bargaining is quite fun. As they name their price, they start at about twice what the going rate for the vegetable is.  DSC01746 (Small)I am supposed to look shocked at this first price and say, “Ah, my goodness!  Why so high?”   They furrow their brows and shake their heads sadly, describing how dry it has been and how that makes each item more rare and precious. Their explanations are suppose to make me willing to pay the expensive price.   I counter with the argument that we are buying for many abana (children) and that we cannot afford to pay such high prices when we buy so much. With smiles they suggest another price for me to consider.  The cooks have directed me what the pantry needs are, so I move from person to person wanting to buy something from each.  It feels like such a ministry to the community to have this impromptu market at the gate.  We go back and forth and settle on a price that brings out the smiles. DSC01745 (Small)Today, I spent about $7.50 and had the whole back of the Prado stuffed full. Jane, there is one lady who lives across the road from Rafiki who is suffering from HIV.  She is the most stunningly gorgeous woman that I have ever seen — she has exotic features and such a wining smile.  This rare beauty has also been left in a desperate circumstance.  DCP_0258 (Small)Like so many women here, she was used as a “wife” by an older man in the government and then abandoned. 

When I asked the aunties about this man they said, “JjaJa that man is not well behaved.”  That turn of phrase is used for anyone who lacks integrity or honor.   I would guess that this man was the one who infected her before casting her off to fend for herself.  Unfortunately, she now has children to care for — a very young child and an older toddler.  DCP_0257 (Small)Whenever we meet she is anxious to talk about her faith and her hope. 

She is very bright and resourceful.  In our conversations, she discovered that we mzungus missed having good lettuce,  so she planted this lovely, tender, Boston-like lettuce at her place and she comes to sell it each week.  I buy more lettuce than I can ever eat just so she can have shillings to feed her family.  There is also a very enterprising Muslim woman who comes to the market and she too grows gorgeous produce.  She seems surprised that we Christians are open to buying from her and each time she listens carefully to what we need and the following week those items are there in abundance.  She is prospering for sure.  It was a good time. 

In Great Grace–lissa

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Snakes on a Porch!

Sunday, March 28, 2004

EatingIceCream (Custom)I took cottage #2 to church this morning and then made some cookies and cleaned the house.  It is Mike’s birthday and we decided to celebrate by having the children come for a visit.   We thought it would be fun to let them try ice cream for the first time.  The ice cream here is somewhere between ice milk and Italian ice–not very creamy but it replicates the delight pretty well.   Chloe seemed to enjoy the treat but the others were not all that impressed.  MikesBday1 (WinCE)They found the sensation of cold too intense and they were not fond of the sweetness either!  One man’s treasure is surely another man’s trash!  It was fun seeing them all dressed up and ready for a party.  Earlier in the day, Mike went with the Enis’ into Kampala to go to New City Bible Church.  He had just changed clothes when one of the aunties came frantically knocking at the door.   She was very agitated because she had seen a snake under the plants that surround Mama Teopista’s cottage.   Mike wasted no time and followed her back to the site.  I didn’t think much about it–in fact I thought the snake would be long gone before anyone could hunt it.  Imagine my surprise when Mike came back with a dead green mamba! green mamba He and Mike Enis tried several scary maneuvers to kill this menace–it was after it was dead that I found out it was a green mamba–it is a very poisonous snake here in Uganda.  I should have known that the auntie would not have been that upset for the safety of the children unless there was real danger.  Thank goodness they were successful and the snake was not!  Having the children over for a party just added more excitement to this already exciting birthday.

much love,

lissa

Mike with the green mambaP.S. This day reminded me of the Acts 28 story,  “As Paul gathered an armful of sticks and was laying them on the fire, a poisonous snake, driven out by the heat, fastened itself onto his hand. The people of the island saw it hanging there and said to each other, “A murderer, no doubt! Though he escaped the sea, justice will not permit him to live.”  But Paul shook off the snake into the fire and was unharmed. The people waited for him to swell up or suddenly drop dead. But when they had waited a long time and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds and decided he was a god.”

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We forget…He does not.

March 25, 2004

Dear Jane,

Psalm 78 reminds us that we are consistent in our forgetfulness of the great works of our God–but he remembers His covenant forever.  That is good good news!

Mike downtown (Small) Casey is off from school today and so after the meeting to train mamas, we are going into Kampala to get haircuts. This is one of those times that brings such remembered pleasure to our days.  Mike has headed to Entebbe to pick up some mini missionaries who are making a second visit to Uganda.  We have had 3 flat tires in the past couple of weeks so I am praying that the patched tires will hold up for the journey.  Yesterday was full and busy.  We had a second interview with a woman that we hoped would be a mama in training. Effective interviewing is so difficult–the women are so desperate for the position that they will often tell us whatever they think we want to hear.  I don’t blame them.  MatatuMeetsCustomer (Small)This dear woman revealed under closer questioning that she is a single woman with an 8 year old child who is living here with her child instead of the child being in Kumi with her mother as she had told us on the first interview.  I praised God for her honesty and was thankful that we did not offer her a job that would make an orphan of her own child!

We also went to Nsambya Babies Home and saw 2 children that we hope can come live here in cottage #4. Over the past week, I’ve spent several hours with our new housemother Robinah Nafuna.   She is a treasure with depth of knowledge, both of people and of faith. She made me laugh so hard when she shared a story with me.  I had invited her to my home for a follow up interview.  Robinah&William (Custom) She got there around the lunch hour and since I knew that her journey on the matatu had been long and hard, I offered her a bowl of bean soup and some tea or water.  She asked for water probably so that she would not cause me extra preparation time.  I felt her eyes watching me quietly as I prepared her meal.  I noticed that she did not drink the glass of water and just assumed that like many Ugandans that drinking water was not her habit.  These folks have to walk long distances to streams and carry the water they need in large plastic “gerry” cans.  Since the water comes with contamination, they must boil all water for drinking and cooking.  I think as a result, they must think of drinking water as a costly extravagance.  DSC00223 (Small) Well, I had drawn her water right from the faucet, and when she saw that I did not “cook” it she was convinced I was a misguided mzungu trying to make her ill!  As she shared what she was thinking about me and these crazy foreigners in the village, I rolled with laughter.  What she did not know then and what will be a great treat for her as she lives here, is that here in the village we have a deep bore well.  The water comes up uncontaminated and immediately suitable for drinking!

Sophie I don’t know if I have shared that we heard that baby Sophie, who we are waiting to bring to Rafiki, was recently hospitalized.  We are not sure what is going on but we did stop by Sanyu while in town to check on things with her.  Joyce met us and took us into the lunch room where the children sit in those little chairs around the edge of the wall to drink their porridge. We saw Sophie but she looked so much smaller and weak.  As Carolyn talked with Joyce, I noticed a sign above her high chair that said “TB use own spoon and cup only!”  Things began to make sense about why Joyce had not released Sophie to us.  We had heard through the grapevine that there has been an outbreak of TB at Sanyu and we had been wondering if any of our children are infected.  They all had passed the TB serology tests but evidently they discovered through chest X-rays that some Sanyu children had the disease.  This throws many things up in the air for us–Carolyn is e-mailing the Rafiki pediatrician in Nairobi to see what we should do now. Well girlfriend, I need to move away from the laptop and get my mind ready for the mamas to come for training today.

gratefully yours,

lissa

P.S. Dr. Dan in Nairobi told us to bring Sophie as soon as possible so that we can get her treated for the disease. The treatment can take up to a year.  He told us not to panic about the other children that he would test them all when he visits in April or May and not to worry about it.   That was very encouraging.

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Who is Testing Whom?

February 24, 2004

Girlfriend,

It sounds like DSC01991 (Small)God is up to much there — and yes I have tasted His faithfulness here today as well.  I needed to get Sponsor reports and Quarterly reports done on 6 of our children and so I spent the early morning at the computer putting those together. I actually enjoy writing them,  noting how the children progress over a 3 month time period.  I try to imagine a sponsor reading the report and work to craft it with words that communicate each child’s spirit and personality so that the sponsors feel a personal connection.

At 10:00, I took Teopista and Molly to SOS for Molly’s second immunization shot.  Immunization takes place in a thatched roof, concrete floored gazebo.  The serious and sullen nurses bring out a table and place it in the center of the floor.  They also bring coolers with syringes full of vaccine.  They hang this thing from the ceiling that looks like the canvas seat of a Johnny Jump-Up hooked to a vegetable scale.  Each Mom is supposed to put her child in that to read, remember and report the weight to the nurses when they are ready to begin the clinic.  The mothers and guardians are also responsible to put the vaccination records in a stack on the table as they arrive and then sit on a concrete wall waiting quietly until they are called by the nurses.  That stack order determines when you get called up.

Wisely, the head nurse begins the clinic by turning the stack over so that the first to be called was the first to arrive.  Each time I have been, I have noticed several mothers who come “late” (although I am learning that there is no such thing as “late” in Africa) and who slip their cards on the bottom of the stack.  You can’t believe how my heart battles in those moments!  My mind begins rehearsing, “That’s not fair, I was here first.  Followed by self cesoring thoughts like, “Hey you are missionary you are not supposed to be whining like a baby!” Anyway, I fight the temptation to rearrange the stack and put it in proper order.

In moments like these I do see more clearly what  a product of my culture I am!  We impatient Americans know the value and the fairness in lining up and waiting your turn!  Or at least we know the value in everyone else lining up and waiting their turn.  Well, that is not part of the value system in Uganda!  I am learning to appreciate the differences rather than yielding to the strong desire to do training seminars on cueing up. The saving thought I had was a little voice that seemed to say, “Lissa, I didn’t send you  to teach or transfer your cultural norms– I trusted you to go and spread the fragrance of Christ!”

SophieFull (Small)Today, something new did happen while we were at SOS. Sister Immaculate gave the young mothers a family planning talk — not in English but in Luganda.  I saw Teopista, who is a 45 year old widow, smiling and shaking her head.  I asked her what was going on and she said, “JjaJa, this talk is too late for me and for you too!”  She listened politely, but when Sister finished talking, Teopista took off with rapid fire, passionate Luganda, waving her finger and looking each mother in the eye.  I knew she was up to something because her voice was animated and her faced glowed with joy and she kept saying, “Yeh-soo.”  On the ride home she said, “JjaJa, it has been a great day! I told those young women that they had heard how they could make their own plans about families but I told them that what they really needed to know was the One who has planned all things in the universe!  I told them they needed to meet and trust the plan of Jesus.”

I, didn’t get this e-mail finished yesterday so I am just continuing on.  It has been a full day, while the clock says 8:15 my body says, “missionary midnight!”   DSC01358 (Small)Today, Carolyn and I went to Sanyu to pick up Sophie and William so that we could get their blood tests in Kampala before traveling 45 minutes to Kakiri SOS to get physicals.   Sophie is severely malnourished and somewhere close to 2 years old but looks the size of a 1 year old.  William is an 11 month old who is an active charmer. I’m calling him “Budda Boy” since his distended stomach almost makes his little legs disappear.   He was abandoned with a series of head lacerations which might have come from ritualistic ceremonies done by a witch doctor or just from evil parental abuse.  DSC01383 (Small)The scars are fading and are less noticeable than when I saw him in November.   With the medical tests complete, we had to take them back to Sanyu and wait on results–I hate it when we have to return these children–it feels like betrayal of trust.  Back in the car, we headed to Nguru the government run babies home and picked up 3 1/2 year old Martin to bring him here to live. Our Sharon came from this orphanage too and it is a place that I wished could be emptied immediately.

Martin is a sweet little boy who has a lazy eye due to muscle damage from malaria.  Dr. Musoke thinks it will improve without assistance or treatment.   DSC01412 (Small) Martin had never worn shoes, never ridden in a motor car and had spent all his days behind an iron fence in buildings that make you cry, playing on a concrete porch day after day.  He wailed when we put him in the motorcar but then quieted down and just watched everything all the way to Rafiki.  Upon arrival, we introduced him to Mama Flavia and watched as he played with the children and ate a good supper.  His eyes look at his surroundings as if he cannot believe what he is seeing.  I will never tire of bringing children here and seeing them embrace the gift of being personally cared for. DSC01405 (Small)

If the test on Sophie is clear–and it may very well not be–we  will bring her here Wednesday and place her with big hearted Jenipher making her cottage have 7 children. William will be the only child of our new mama Robinah.  What joy is mine in helping women find jobs that allow them to support themselves and helping children have a promising future of nurture and guaranteed education.

How is the writing going for Luke 19?  I wanted you to know that as I close my evening I am thinking and praying for the day that is still ahead of you.  Teach it dear friend–God will have women who need the words you speak tomorrow right there to hear them.  Thanks again for visiting with me last night.  Your words helped me several times as I spent the whole day in the car being beaten by the roads.

Love to  you dear one,

lissa

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Training the Palate

February 5, 2004

Greetings My Friend,

One of the goals we have here at the village is to train the children’s palate’s to enjoy a variety of foods.  In their culture, there are several staple foods, but beyond that many never have the opportunity to explore.   In the dining hall, the lunch meal consists of national food that the mamas and children really enjoy.  When posho (like very stiff grits) is served, the mamas smile and say it will make a good nap for the cottages.

DSC00362 (Small) Trying to plan menus that are filling, healthy and enjoyable has presented us with somewhat of a challenge. Carolyn was very excited recently because she had figured out a way to make macaroni and cheese to be served at our evening meal.  The cooks did a great job of preparing it and we expected everyone to really enjoy this new treat–after all, who doesn’t like macaroni and cheese?  DSC00361 (Small)

Well, we heard nothing about the new dish from the mamas or from the children.  A few days later I was hauling some of the aunties who work during the day helping the mamas back to their village.  On the ride, I asked, “How did you and the children enjoy the macaroni and cheese?”  There was not an immediate response so I turned to Auntie Janet and asked her again.  You need to know that Ugandans are always eager to be polite and to please, so Janet turned to me with a big smile and a lift in her voice,  “Oh JjaJa, I think we have enjoyed it very much, only one has vomited!”  I thought I would never stop laughing at that and I almost ran the Prado up the side of a bank before I regained control.   Now, when Yoweri finds out that we are having macaroni he whines, “JjaJa, not the maca-ronees!”DSC00614 (Small) (2)

Well, I dropped Janet off at her place and proceeded to take another helper to her home.  As we traveled she said, “JjaJa, I am wondering if you would give me the advice (pronounced add-vice)?”  DSC01113 (Small)That was her way of saying, I want to speak to you privately for counsel.  I told her that I was willing to help if I could.  She is a precious friend and I have come to love her dearly.  She shared with me that her husband who had abandoned the family about six months ago, had returned the night before.  She said he was very apologetic and asked for forgiveness for wanting to flee from the crushing that poverty had made to his sense of manhood.  He despaired when daily faced with his inability to raise school fees for his children or to feed them adequately.  He felt trapped and unable to break out of the hopeless circumstance.  The pressure to provide when it was impossible to find a job took its toll and he ran. During all the months he was gone, Pastor Fred and his wife Susan stepped in and provided for this family.

DSC02371 (Small)Now it seems, he is ready to return home and she is more than willing to receive him.  Her dilemma was that he wanted to resume physical intimacy with her.  She remembered talks that Pastor’s wife had given about the way HIV is spread, so she had refused him and explained to him that she was not going to allow that until he had had a blood test to determine his status. She asked me if it was true that the virus could be passed between husband and wife that way.  I told her that Susan had given her true advice and that she had done the right thing. Her husband proclaimed his fidelity and said there had been no women in the six months, but this dear woman bravely resisted.  Jane, she was thinking rightly but the truth is she has no resources to carry out this plan.  Like everyone here, she struggles financially–there is never enough money to cover just the bare bones basics of life.  Her sons and daughters have not been able to attend secondary school this semester because she has no money for school fees.  When I dropped her off earlier this week, there was no food in the home.  I stupidly asked why she didn’t get fresh vegetables since they are so plentiful and cheap.  She responded,  “JjaJa, what difference does it make what the price is if I have no money at all?”    She added, “JjaJa, a meal of eggplant and tomatoes does not fill a hungry stomach through the night and day.”  The custom here is to drink a cup of chai in the morning and wait until very late in the evening to eat one meal that will hold you through the night and next day.  DSC01128 (Small)

Since it has been my job to take people to Ebenezer Lab, I knew that a reliable blood test costs more than this little family could ever raise or justify.   How could she come up with 9,000 shillings (at least 3 days wages) for blood testing when she has children who are not getting enough to eat?  It is through difficult choices like this that AIDS has claimed Africa.  DSC02373 (Small)Anyway, I told her that I would transport she and her husband to the lab and pay for the testing and praised her for her wisdom and for standing up in a gentle but firm way.  It takes one day to get the results, so I trust God will protect her until this is settled.  Friend, you are on my mind and in my heart–may He help renew your heart today as you prepare for prayer tomorrow.

With love,
lissa